It was a dark night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets. I was on the 3rd floor of the Acme building in my office. When I first got to this deadbeat town I decided to set up shop in one of their apartments. Room 310. That one was mine. The door had a brass plate on the top with that number engraved in it and a glass pane right smack in the middle of the door. The glass was opaque though and not completely clear so as to provide my clients with some degree of discreetness while they poured out the contents of their bleeding hearts and feed me whatever sob story they had concocted on their way up the stairs. The glass pane had four words written over it which told them all they needed to know:
"Guy Noir
Private Investigator".
That's me. For now, my reasons for going into the PI business are personal. But what really matters is that on this particular night, some poor slob needed my help. He knocked on the door so lightly I almost didn't realize he was there.
"It's open!" I shouted out.
He opened the door gingerly as the skinny form of a man emerged from the hallway into my office. In the same way that the four words on the door told him everything he needed to know about me, the man's height and pointy ears told me everything I needed to know about him. It just had to be an elf.....
"Hi, um I was told that your the man to see if someone needed answers...." he said, "someone who could find things out when the authorities don't want to help you...."
He was a sad excuse for an elf, the overtly proud race of arrogant arrow-flingers. No this man was just sad. He was shaking a bit, nervous to even speak. His head hung low and his sad eyes wandered to the floor.
"Yeah, why don't you take a seat?" I said as I lifted my feet off of my desk and gestured for him to sit in one of the two chairs on the other side. " what can I do for you?"
"Yes, um My name is Ferren, and Well you see Mr. Noir, I work over at the Lonely Siren Inn... well me and my girl Molly. You see, I work the front counter as a clerk/ waiter/ bartender... what every the boss needs really and Molly does as well. I don't know if you've ever been by this place Mr. Noir, but saying that the crowd over there is 'rough' would be putting it lightly...."
"I know the place" I interrupted, " That's Micky D's place. Yeah, the scum of the earth all seem to gather there like cockroaches running under a can in the light.... go on.."
"Well, two nights ago I was finishing my shift and was about to head home for the night. Molly had to work late. I kissed her good by and left. Two nights Mr. Noir, and havent seen her since! I know something must have happend I just don't know where to look or who to talk to... Please Mr. Noir you gotta help me!"
As soon as he finished his story, he started to cry like a baby who's mother threw out its passifier. It was pathetic, and difficult to watch.
"Get a hold of yourself man! I'll take the case, just stop crying.... Now to the expensises...."
As I was speaking, I looked for a roll of parchment so that we could write up a contract but before I knew it the cying Elf grabed my hand and shook it histerically
"Thank you! Oh, thank you Mr. Noir! I'm so relieved! I'm very glad that you can help me! I've worried my self to death and lost sleep at night! I'll be able to rest soundly knowing you're on the case! And speaking of which I will retire for the evening Good night Mr. Noir!"
Upon finishing his last statement he went back out the door.
"Hey! We didn't negotiate a price! Get back here!!!"
I cried out in vain. He had already gone. Well he may not have behaved like an Elf, but he sure could run like one! I rubbed my head and then began to plan my next move:
I needed to get some more information about this Ferren guy and his squeeze Molly. The only way to do that was to go on down to that snake hole called The Lonely Siren Inn...
"Guy Noir
Private Investigator".
That's me. For now, my reasons for going into the PI business are personal. But what really matters is that on this particular night, some poor slob needed my help. He knocked on the door so lightly I almost didn't realize he was there.
"It's open!" I shouted out.
He opened the door gingerly as the skinny form of a man emerged from the hallway into my office. In the same way that the four words on the door told him everything he needed to know about me, the man's height and pointy ears told me everything I needed to know about him. It just had to be an elf.....
"Hi, um I was told that your the man to see if someone needed answers...." he said, "someone who could find things out when the authorities don't want to help you...."
He was a sad excuse for an elf, the overtly proud race of arrogant arrow-flingers. No this man was just sad. He was shaking a bit, nervous to even speak. His head hung low and his sad eyes wandered to the floor.
"Yeah, why don't you take a seat?" I said as I lifted my feet off of my desk and gestured for him to sit in one of the two chairs on the other side. " what can I do for you?"
"Yes, um My name is Ferren, and Well you see Mr. Noir, I work over at the Lonely Siren Inn... well me and my girl Molly. You see, I work the front counter as a clerk/ waiter/ bartender... what every the boss needs really and Molly does as well. I don't know if you've ever been by this place Mr. Noir, but saying that the crowd over there is 'rough' would be putting it lightly...."
"I know the place" I interrupted, " That's Micky D's place. Yeah, the scum of the earth all seem to gather there like cockroaches running under a can in the light.... go on.."
"Well, two nights ago I was finishing my shift and was about to head home for the night. Molly had to work late. I kissed her good by and left. Two nights Mr. Noir, and havent seen her since! I know something must have happend I just don't know where to look or who to talk to... Please Mr. Noir you gotta help me!"
As soon as he finished his story, he started to cry like a baby who's mother threw out its passifier. It was pathetic, and difficult to watch.
"Get a hold of yourself man! I'll take the case, just stop crying.... Now to the expensises...."
As I was speaking, I looked for a roll of parchment so that we could write up a contract but before I knew it the cying Elf grabed my hand and shook it histerically
"Thank you! Oh, thank you Mr. Noir! I'm so relieved! I'm very glad that you can help me! I've worried my self to death and lost sleep at night! I'll be able to rest soundly knowing you're on the case! And speaking of which I will retire for the evening Good night Mr. Noir!"
Upon finishing his last statement he went back out the door.
"Hey! We didn't negotiate a price! Get back here!!!"
I cried out in vain. He had already gone. Well he may not have behaved like an Elf, but he sure could run like one! I rubbed my head and then began to plan my next move:
I needed to get some more information about this Ferren guy and his squeeze Molly. The only way to do that was to go on down to that snake hole called The Lonely Siren Inn...
